Dating Outside Your Tribe

2709420855_a355a1294d No, this post is not in reference to the Seth Godin cult or tribe management. While driving to work this morning, I heard on the radio local columnist, Leah Shafer, of Girl Talk discussing the positive aspects of dating outside your tribe. My ears perked up to the conversation because (1) I am back on the dating scene and (2) dating is similar to networking…the mind is always turning when it comes to career.

Opposites attract? Normally, no. We tend to gravitate toward people we have more in common with than those not typically in our circle or tribe. Usually we belong to larger tribes based upon work, education level, social status and experiences. Smaller tribes consist of our family and friends. We are comfortable in those spaces. If we were in high school these tribes would be called “cliques.”

I challenge you to look at the tribes you belong to online and as part of industry. Do you have a diverse group of people with who you associate? Or do you gravitate to people just like and only like you? On the radio, Leas asks, “How can you get serious if you are still chasing down the same type of guy you did in high school?” Or in the case of work – How can you get serious about your career future if you still maintain the same thoughts you did as a newbie?

Those of us online often claim we are “out of the box thinkers.” Perhaps our actions and networking should reflect this thought process. I am ready for an adventure…are you?


(Photo courtesy mikeb68.)

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  • Leo Bottary

    Lauren, you make an excellent point here as it pertains to both our personal and professional lives. Reaching beyond are tribe(s) takes work, but it’s well worth it.

  • NW Guy

    Enjoy the NW this weekend. Without laptop? Hope that means you are enjoying the mountains or the Sound. Don’t worry, no trees buried in the Sound (unlike those Dallas lakes).
    I have noticed that my tribes continue to change but the issue is embracing the tribe while not losing your history….

  • Lauren Vargas

    @Leo: Takes work and a thick skin!
    @NW Guy: Great point…we don’t want to lose the foundation of who we are and what experiences shaped us.
    I am meeting a “special” friend in Seattle for the weekend. ;)

  • Leah

    Glad you enjoyed it! I’d like to hear your perspective on dating–you seem thoughtful. E-mail me?

  • Chris

    read the post, “Dating Outside Your Tribe”… Nice posting….